I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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