He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
