god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
