dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
