After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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