Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
