Do you still have your period?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
