the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
