Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
