So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
