im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
