very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
