tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
