We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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