So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize