they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
