yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
