Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Please don't give away my fajitas
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
