Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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