I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
