I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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