you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
