just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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