Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
