So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
