I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
