I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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