i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Someone shit on the floor
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
