if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
