I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
