I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
