Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
