She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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