Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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