yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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