a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
