we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm like, not good at living.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
