i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
