I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
