When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
