Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Randomize
