honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
