If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
