I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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