I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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