Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
