im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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