Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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