And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
