i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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