I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
