Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
